[Satty]

To choton, bulbul, khoka, laltu, gogol, babu, buro, tutu, bubu, ghoton,
bhutan, chotka, shanto, bubai, tubul .... et al. Here is an attempt to alert people
to a great injustice that is being perpetrated upon the sons of Bengal.


So you thought they were wimpy to begin with. Far from it, my friend.
Their current state is a result of years of conditioning by the oppressors -
namely the women. By using a variety of psychological weapons, they have
reduced these fine men to what you mostly see today.

Today we focus on the first weapon in their hands - the nickname.

When a son is born into a Bengali household, he is gifted with a resonant,
sonorous name. Bengali names are wonderful things. They  convey majesty
and power. A man with a name like Sushmito, Samrat, Samudro, Rudro,
Prokash,Indrajeet, Surojeet, Prasenjeet, Samrat, Bishwadeep,  etc. is a man
who will walk with his head held high, knowing that the world expects
great deeds from him, which was why they bestowed the title that is his
name upon him.

But it simply will not do for these men to get ahead of themselves.
Their swelling confidence needs to be shattered. How can one go about it?
This task is left to the mothers of these lads and is accomplished by the
simple act of referring to the boy, not by his rather-great-sounding real
name, but by a nickname which even Shakti Kapoor would feel ashamed to
answer to.

Their are some rules for creating nicknames, which need to be followed.
They are:
1) Nicknames must have no connection to the real name. Arunabha cannot be
called Arun. No, for that would be logical, and such things are anathema
in the world of women. Instead he shall be called BHOMBOL. If possible,
the nickname and real name must have no letters in common, but an ancient
alphabet proves to be the constraining factor there.

2) Nicknames must be humiliating to the power infinity. If you are a
tall strapping boy, with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing
personality, then you shall be nicknamed - Khoka. And every time,you
have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the
aforementioned lass eat out of your hand - your mother will arrive
and pronounce loudly - "Khokon, chalo". The ensuing sea of giggles will
drown out whatever confidence you had earned from that last winning
free-kick.

3) A nickname must refer in some way to a suitably embarassing incident
in your childhood that you would give your arm and leg to forget. If it
took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming
will not rid you of the nomenclature - Motka. If your face turned crimson
when you cried as a toddler, you will be called Laltu. When you turn 40, your
friends' children will call you Laltu Uncle. Even age will not earn you
the right to be taken seriously thereafter.

4) Different members of the family will make up different nicknames each
more embarassing than the preceeding one. If one member of the family
calls you Piklu, then another will call you Pocha, and another willcall you
Ghoton. The humiliation multiplies.

5) You will always be introduced by your nickname until people forget you
had a real name. Ranajoy might have taken on a gang of armed men
single-handedly, but Tatai really didn't have a chance. After a point,
Tatai will completely take over the beaten body of Ranajoy, weighed
down by the pressure of a thousand taunts.

This strategy is surprisingly effective. Ask yourself - would you
take Professor Boltu seriously? Or put much weight by the opinion of Dr.
Bubai? Or march into battle under the command of General Topa? The power of
the nickname has scarred the psyche of Bengali men everywhere. It
follows them like a monkey on their backs. That too, a monkey with a flair for
slapstick, that was gifted to them by their own mothers, aunts and grandmas.

[SoulCurry]

Great post!
I have two chaddi-buddies (twins) who have laboured under the daak-naams of "Aloo" & "Posto" since a tender age. They are considering appealing to Amnesty International about this crime against humanity!

But this is not restricted to male children. My closest friend - otherwise a highly cultured & sensible woman - calls her daughter "Sootli". This last being a sort of coarse thread.   Cruel, I tell you.

[captmahajan]

good one.

somebody start one about punjabi nicknames too.

[Judi]

Soem English translations would be very welcome here, please - then we can all share the jokes  

[Judi]

Ah!  Thanks for that, PD     I now could re-read the piece and chuckle even more  

btw I, for one, am loving learning more about Bengali culture here on the indiatree, and feel sure it will give me a deeper insight into things when I travel back to my beloved West Bengal again.

[jyotirmoy]

I have a friend whose daughters are Kullu & Manali.
Bhuto is also a name derived from Bhut which means ghost.

Bhuto Bhuto Bhuto
Tor babu kothay shuto?
Oi je baub r khat bichana
Oi je babur juto
Akhon namer agey chandrabindu emni ganer guto....

Bhuto Bhuto Bhuto
Where did your boss sleep?
There is boss's bed
There lies his shoes..
Now he is dead done in by Bhuto's music...

Kartik becomes Keto....
Jyotirmoy becomes Juto!!!!!

[jyotirmoy]

Oh yes just remembered we once had a neighbour who had 3 children Ebong(And), Athoba(Or) & Kintu(But)

[jyotirmoy]

Another pair of names cropped up
Hondol kutkut
Kumropotash

PD can you translate? The challenge is too gr8 I know but...

[edwardseco]

I was given one when I married in. My spouse translated it with a great deal of laughter as newly born unwashed baby..

[rasika]

brilliant! if Satty is reading - thanks so much for posting this.  now my american husband has a better grasp of why so many of my friends & relatives have weird names totally unrelated to their often profound Sanskrit-derived names. we thoroughly enjoyed your posting.

[cyberhippie]

Hey welcome to The India Tree, delve around, there is no end of "Bong" goodies hidden away on this site!!

The Mukerji's